HARVESTERS U13 NORTH 6 HERTFORD HEATH YOUTH 0
MORE CHEESE GROMIT?
Yes, that's right, for inspiration this week I am drawing on dairy, alliterating on lactose and fulminating over farmyards. In other words, for no particular reason other than I am having a challenging day and it passes the time, my muse this week has been cheese. Why? I hear you say. It's a fair point. Oftentimes, I have thought about taking up creative writing. Sadly, I have realised that I lack two of the critical ingredients that great authors take for granted. One is creativity and the other is talent. I make up for this by spouting nonsensical whimsy in the hope that no-one notices that very little of it actually makes sense.
Anyway, after that brie(f) prelude, on with the main event. This was a County Cup game against lower division opponents which can be a double (Gloucester) edged sword in the sense that the better team is expected to comte-fortably win, but against a packed defence that can be hard (cheese) - ask England.
I cannot recall Ethan making a save. He could have taken most of the game off and spent it on the swings at the end of the pitch, inventing haikus and whistling tuneless ditties whilst making a daisy chain the length of the M1. Partly, this was due to another excellent performance from the defence, with Stan in particular an absolute Munster - a roque(fort) at the heart of a revamped unit including Ben, Louis and George G.
After a cagey opening, Latrell pulled a great ball back across goal with Brad's audacious backheel getting blocked, but it was only a matter of time before we went ahead and that came as Latrell lashed home after Aidan had achieved an apparent miracle keeping the ball from going dead and putting the cross over. A second arrived after 15 minutes as Steward belted it into the box (cross? shot? only he will know) and a very alert Aidan turned the ball past a flatfooted keeper.
Hertford Heath harried, huffed and puffed and pressed enough all game to make it difficult for us. Brad fired over after a goal mouth scramble. Then Aidan robbed a defender from a goal kick and the ball found its way to the back post where Kobi slotted in from a seemingly impossible angle - the lack of celebration gave us pause as to whether it had even gone in but 3-0 it was and half time verily fell upon us.
Aidan hit a lovely volley on 40 minutes which was saved, as was George E's follow up, and with the goal gaping unfortunately Kobi miskicked from a Yarg out. A minute later it seemed like the entire team had a go as the ball came across the Hertford Heath box but nobody managed that crucial touch.
Sam fired over on 45 minutes. Then Kobi pulled a great ball for George E who again could only smash it into Smallford. This started to feel like deja vu from the Colney Red (Leicester) game where countless chances were falling our way but our conversion rate remained a bit lacking.
From Latrell's through ball George E had a shot and the follow up blocked by the gargantuan keeper and then on 51 minutes Kobi shot but was clipped on the heels as he did so and the ref awarded us our first penalty of the season. Despite clear instructions from us on the touchline for Sam to take it, Kobi stepped up and hit the post. We will be discussing this collective team decision at training this week. Not a very sage (derby) moment from the boys.
The fetas came off after 20 frustrating second half minutes when Sam followed up a parried strike for 4-0 and added his second on 63 minutes following excellent work by our own (gorgon)Zola George Elwin. Sam just failed to complete his hat trick as his hooked cannoned off the bar with no one able to apply a (C)heddar to finish off.
There followed a bizarre incident which saw Sam pick up a yellow card for putting the ball in the net after the ref had already given a foul against us. One felt this was a rather harsh decision from our own ref but the reaction of the boys was somewhat disappointing. Quite a few laughed openly at what had transpired which could have upset the boy receiving the card and could also have been perceived as disrespect towards the referee, which I am sure all will agree is not something we wish to encourage.
The denouement in the last minute saw Steward pick the ball up in our half, breeze past two opponents and caerphilly (see what I did there?) thread the ball perfectly for Latrell whose initial shot was saved but it squirted under the keeper and LP followed up to blast it home like a true (Lincolnshire) poacher.
6-0 but could have been many more. Still, a win is a win. We will be addressing the penalty and yellow card reaction on Wednesday(ledale).